If it was human, it would be known as “an 80′s fashion victim.”  Observe:

Altogether now: "EWW!" "ARGH!!" "UGH!!"

Sunflower wallpaper? Check.  Ratty poop-brown cabinetry? Check. Bathroom tile backsplash repainted by moi about 20 years ago to hide pink, green & white tiles? Check. Formica countertops circa 1970? Check.

Can you believe I lived with this stuff for more than 25 years?

Oh my lord…that wallpaper! My husband at the time (now my ex), came home with a bazillion rolls of it one day, (probably on sale. No big surprise, there), and proceeded to slap it up toot-sweet. This occurred while I was out for the day. When I came home, I almost went blind from the pattern.

See, I had once mentioned to him that I liked sunflowers. Big mistake. I don’t like them THAT much. I actually HATE them now, and I blame that wallpaper for my hatred of the humble sunflower.  But, I got used to it, and never let on that I detested the wallpaper because, after all,  he meant well.  And soon,  I began to not notice the horrific color scheme. I became immune to it.  Like muzak in an elevator.

So, this past year, after my young-uns FINALLY moved out, my guy & I decided we’d had enough.  Actually, HE had had enough. I probably could have kept on cooking and baking in this nightmarish kitchen for another 20 years. I had become immune, ya see.

But, my guy, who I referred to in my previous post as “The King of Bling”, is also the “King of DIY”. Lucky ME!  My weekends were filled with the sounds of sanding & hammering.  During the week, he’d usually be home before me, & I would come home from work and find him tearing down 70′s style turd-brown paneling…

Be gone, turd-brown paneling!!

Ripping out plaster & lathe…

Be gone, painted bathroom tile backsplash!!

Hanging drywall, slapping on the mud, sanding…..

Be gone, goofy 70's light fixture!!

And painting, etc., etc….

You missed a spot...

Long story short, and in a nutshell, he provided me with a shiny new kitchen! Or, as shiny & new as can be possible when the kitchen belongs to an 85 year old Chicago-style bungalow.

So, after about 2-3 months of work (which he LOVES..I think re-habbing old houses is his true calling), this is what we ended up with:

So fresh, so clean!

Nice, huh?  We  re-painted the cabinets and added new hardware, which I got for a song on Overstock.com.  I took my cue from John & Sherry over at Young House Love and went with the oil-rubbed bronze (or “ORB” ) hardware.  It makes quite a difference, and I love how it contrasts with the white paint.

Here’s a pic of the window over the sink.  New 2″ faux wood blinds from good old JC Penney’s look so much nicer than those nasty beige mini-blinds, and I made the valance myself with my favorite IKEA fabric, “Patricia”:

Me likey!

Look at my little shark sponge-holder. He was one of the first things I bought for my “new” kitchen. I was SO excited when I saw him chilling on a shelf at my local Marshall’s.  I thought to myself: “I MUST have you, little shark!”

When I came home, I unwrapped him and shoved him under my guy’s nose:

Me: Look what I found!! Isn’t he GREAT???? ( I kind of love sharks).

Him: What is it?

Me: It’s a SHARK!!

Him: Yeah, I know that, but what’s it for?

Me: It’s a sponge holder! A shark sponge holder! Look at his little teeth!

Him: *rolling his eyes as per usual* Umm…ok. A sponge holder. Right.

Me: He’s the king of my kitchen and will preside over my sink!

Him: You are such a dork.

"I'm ready for my close-up, dork."

But, I digress….

As with most 1920′s Chicago bungalows, my kitchen had oak floors under the ancient vinyl floor tile. We had visions of beautiful restored, re-sanded hardwood floors as we struggled with the heat gun and scraped off all the tile.  Unfortunately, the floors were not salvageable.  They were oak, alright, but in terrible shape, and the former owners had hammered in rows of nails every 18 inches.  My guy guessed they probably did that to stop the squeaking and creaking.  Here’s what we ended up with:

Oak-ey Dokey Ugly!

There was SO much adhesive and damaged wood, that we decided on a new floor.  Now, since my last name is not Rockefeller, I went with  laminate flooring.  Sure, it’s not as PC as REAL hardwood, but it’s good enough for me, (and my budget) and looks pretty damned sweet, if I do say so myself:

Mmm....reminds me of a Caramelo candy bar!

It's so shiny!

Miss Panda was somewhat traumatized by all the hammering and drilling going on during this adventure. She would sit on the counter giving us all the hairy eyeball, because we were interfering with her silence & solitude, poor thing:

"Foolish humans! You are ruining my 12 hour nap!!"

We have not yet put in a backsplash (I’m thinking glass tile), because I really can’t afford new countertops yet.  Can’t put in the backspash until I get the countertops, and that will have to wait for a while (like until I hit the lotto or get a new roof..whichever comes first), but the formica doesn’t look TOO horrible at this point.

I also have a little breakfast nook in the back. I can’t find a “before” pic, but it was just as terrifying as the rest of the kitchen.  Here’s what it looks like after the magic happened:

I actually like sitting here now!

More Patricia fabric. I'm kind of proud of my sewing talents.

So, it’s still a work in progress, but isn’t it something what a little (ok, a LOT) of paint and drywall can do?  My guy is an amazing fellow. He even put in crown molding. Crown Molding, folks!!

It's fit for a king!

Handy AND sexy. What more could you ask for?

Oh, a new BATHROOM you say?

Hey!  He did that, too!

More on that one later.

]]> http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/a-kitchen-makeover-fugly-no-more/feed/ 0 Lis -5-soffit-backsplash before -1-paneling tear-out lathe drywall dusty much? kitchensinkview sink valance sharkie floorbefore floorafter floor pandakitch breakfastnook nookvalance crown molding http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2012/01/14/the-pandora-bracelet-the-perfect-no-brainer-gift/ http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2012/01/14/the-pandora-bracelet-the-perfect-no-brainer-gift/#comments Sat, 14 Jan 2012 19:33:11 +0000 Lis http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/?p=1514 ]]> If you’ve read a few of my posts, you’ll know that my guy is an intrepid jewelry purchaser.  Apart from a few tech-y gifts he’s given over the years, his favorite type of gift to give me is jewelry.  Specifically: bracelets.  (I think he might be obsessed with my wrists!)  I have collected quite a few bracelets from him over the years.  So far, over the years, he has given me 4 gold bracelets.

If he keeps it up, I may be giving this gal a run for her money!

Too much of a good thing?

¦

This year’s Christmas gift from the “King of Bling” (as I like to call him) was a Pandora Bracelet.  Not an imitation, not a knock-off, but the real deal.   And here it is:

The King of Bling strikes again!

So, why do I call the Pandora Bracelet (the PB) the perfect no-brainer gift?  Because he will never have to wrack his brain for a gift to me ever again.

See, the PB is kind of like the charm bracelets of old, except not as noisy and a helluva lot more expensive.  Back in the day, your parents would buy you a sterling silver link bracelet, and you’d start to fill it with little silver charms of scottie dogs or bicycles..things that looked like the player pieces in Monopoly.

I always wanted the iron.

Not true with the PB. They have a myriad of beads and charms to add to your foundation bracelet, and all of them are pretty damn pricey. I think the cheapest one is about 40 bucks.  So….need a gift for your lady for Valentines Day?  No prob…buy a bead for her PB!

Murano glass heart bead

Your anniversay?  Another charm or bead.  Christmas?  They have one for that. Birthdays?  That, too!

Oh, it’s a man’s gift-giving dream come true!  My guy NEVER has to think again when it comes to a gift for me!

That’s why I call it the “no-brainer” gift.

He was so excited when I opened up the box, but at the same time a little hesitant,  because I had always referred to the PB as the “yuppie’s charm bracelet”.

I’d never seen one in person, but let’s just say I was wowed when I opened the box.  Never have I seen such simple opulence.  Yes, I was a bit dazzled:

Me: *reaching into little Pandora shopping bag & pulling out said gift*

Him: *probably remembering my “yuppie charm bracelet” comment*  “If you don’t like it, I can take it back.”

Me: *gazing upon PB in person for the first time*  “Wow!”

Him: “Just don’t wear it when you’re cleaning the toilet!” (more on that below…) ***↓

Me: “Holy shit. That’s a lot of precious metal right there. Jeez!”

My guy says: ” Look at the little catalog…they have all the beads and charms there. Your kids could even buy you a charm for Mother’s day or your birthday!”

Me: *paging through catalog*  “Oh, yeah..there are so many to choose from!”  I give him many kisses and tell him  “Thank you, crazy-man!”

(I call him “Crazy-man”  because he always buys quite expensive stuff, and I think he’s crazy for doing it, but I secretly love it, ok?   Don’t judge me. *sob*)

Yes, I was being agreeable to my sweetheart when it came to the kid thing… but here’s what would REALLY happen if my kids went  browsing around the Pandora Store in the upscale mall nearby:

My daughter smirking while my son asks the salesgirl:  “DUDE!  (yes, he’d call her “dude”) These are really expensive!  Got anything cheaper?”

The salesgirl rolling her eyes, and my daughter growling: ” Oh no you DIDN’T just roll your eyes at us!  Who the FUCK do you think you are, you fake yuppie bitch!”

My son sighing deeply & saying:  “Ok, time to go…” and dragging his little sister out of the store while the salegirls and patrons gape in shock and awe.

I could picture them standing out in front of the Pandora store, my son laughing and shaking his head as my daughter lights up a cigarette and says (while blowing smoke out of her nostrils like a pissed-off dragon):  “Man, I hate those stuck-up bitches.  So, what are we going to get Ma for Mother’s Day?”

My son, looking off into the distance, squinting like Clint Eastwood says: “There’s a Binny’s not too far from here.  Wanna go halfsies on a bottle of Bailey’s?  It’s mom’s favorite.”  My daughter would brighten up considerably and yelp: “Cool!  We can get her some chocolate-covered strawberries, too!”

Annnnnd…….scene. Exit stage left.

Now, this scenario played out in my mind in about 3 seconds, so my guy had no idea what a disaster it would be if my kids hot-footed in down to the  Pandora store.  That’s why I just smiled and agreed with him.  It’s always the best way in situations like this, IMO.

But…I really think it was a stroke of genius on his part to gift me with a PB.  Unfortunately, I think he’ll be the only one helping to fill up the bracelet. On the bright side, an average PB holds approximately 15-20 charms depending on the length of the bracelet, and the thickness of the charms.  So, he’s good when it comes to gifts to me for quite a few years to come! Here’s a pic of what one looks like filled up, although it might be a bit much for me, not to mention extrmely HEAVY:

That's a lot o' bling!

See? The PERFECT NO-BRAINER GIFT!!!

***Now…concerning the cleaning of the toilet-bracelet thing:

The very first bracelet my guy ever gave me, at the beginning of our relationship,  was an unusual one, very delicate… yellow and white gold.   I wore it on my right wrist &  never took it off.  It was my very favorite out of all of them, so of course, I lost it.  How?  I think the clasp came undone while I was cleaning the toilet, and *WHOOSH*..it got swept away.  It was a lobster-claw clasp, and  might have been weakened from wearing it for so many years. I was grief-stricken, and shed quite a few tears over the loss of my sweet little bracelet.

The first thing my guy asked was: “Why didn’t you take it OFF?”

I sobbed: “Because it was the first bracelet you ever gave me. It was my FAVORITE and I NEVER take it off!”

This was followed by much eye-rolling on his part. He was very practical and unsympathetic. He thought it was my own fault, and yes..it was. But he didn’t have to be so OBVIOUS about thinking that. I was hurt and in a snit for a while about his reaction. But I got over it pretty fast.  Why get upset over something you can’t change, right?

I’m not only talking the loss of my bracelet, but also my guy’s practical, if unsympathetic, reaction.

Oh well.  No chance of me losing the PB whilst cleaning the toilet.  I wear it on my LEFT wrist.

Another no-brainer. ;o)

(Ok. I lied.)

I tried to log in a bazillion times and couldn’t get in! I had to do the whole password retrieval thingie. And now that I’m here, I really don’t have a lot to say. Well, I do..but what a long post it would be.  So, here’s a summary of the past year (yup…look at the post before this one. It’s been a freaking YEAR since I posted!!)

Ok…here goes:

I’m still working for the Fed Gov in the pharmaceutical capacity. Yes, folks. Business is boomin’.  The drug biz, that is.   Haven’t killed anyone yet. Haven’t jumped up on a table and screamed “ADIOS, MUTHAFUCKAS!!!” whilst foaming at the mouth & flipping people off. Although I’ve been tempted.

We had that crazy blizzard in February.

Those trash receptacles are about 4 ft. tall!

 My snowblower was out of gas.

I did a lot of shoveling!

So, the snow finally melted like it always does, and in March 2011, my son became a daddy!  Yep. My second granddaughter, Olivia was born. Here she is today, nearly a year later:

She's the spitting image of her daddy at that age.

Mother’s day came along, and my other granddaughter (my daughter’s girl) came to visit:

She's a darling!!!

Now for the summer of 2011…

My guy and I spent the WHOLE summer jet-skiing &  kayaking  in and around Illinois.  We jet skiied on the Illinois River, which has got to be one of the filthiest rivers in the state. We fell in, and lived to tell about it.  We whizzed by like we were riding a frickin’ rocket, and the famous Asian Carp jumped out of the water and almost hit us..but we were to fast for them.

Yep..that's me.

We took the jet ski to Twin Lakes, WI…were a cop pinched us for an expired Watercraft sticker. They hate us Illinois people.  Their stupid lake fucked up the jet-ski, too…since there was TONS of seaweed in Lake Elizabeth (one of the “twins” of Twin Lakes..the other one is Lake Mary, I think. But who cares. They suck.)

The seaweed in question. Props and intake thingies beware!

So, since we got a 75.oo ticket and a fucked up intake thingie, we ended up sitting in the tiki bar drinking beer and eating cheeseburgers.  Not a bad way to spend the rest of the afternoon.  On the way home, we drove down the road a piece & dropped the jet ski off at Worldwind MotorSports in Antioch, IL. Mike, the owner-operator, knew exactly what was wrong with our old Sea Doo and gave us a VERY fair price for the repair. He also advised us to stay away from the sea-weedy twin lakes and stick to the Chain ‘O Lakes.  Fantastico advice, because the Chain is awesome, and is right there in Antioch.  We used to vacation there as kids and had a great time.

We picked up the jet ski the following weekend, and headed off to the Chain.  We hit up Grass Lake & Lake Marie..had a beer at Blarney Island, and had a blast all the way around.

That's more like it.

This boat has a nicer house than I do!

Here comes the rain!

Time to go home...

 Can’t wait for this coming summer!!

Oh..we did happen to go kayaking, too.  We went to a different part of the Fox River, in Elgin-St. Charles.  We paddled for about 13 miles. Man..that was a LONG trip.

The Guardians of the Fox River. I love them!

I love the Fox Waterway logo. This is the bridge & walkway.

Very tranquil and scenic

It's the Farmer's blimp!!!!

Ok, I have to admit I nearly rolled my kayak because of how excited I was to see the Farmer’s blimp. I was waving my paddle and yelling to my guy: “Look! Look! It’s the FARMER’S BLIMP!!!!!”  He just shook his head and paddled away from me as I snapped a bazillion pics of said blimp;  99.9% of which came out either insanely blurry, or with my thumb blocking out the blimp.  I actually only got 2 decent shots of the damn thing. This was one of them. It was kind of the highlight of my day. heh heh.

Here’s the house I want to live in. It’s pretty damn sweet.

Dream house...tucked away on the river. I want it.

And this is my souvenir from the million mile kayak trip:

From paddling. This sucker HURT. If you've ever had a saddle sore, it kind of felt like that.

But look at this! We pulled into the driveway after the kayak trip, and were greeted by a huge dahlia blossom. I had gotten my mom some dahlia bulbs the previous fall, and they finally bloomed:

My mom has an extremely green thumb.

Also this past summer..my older granddaughter turned 2!

Time flies!

Here I am in the pharmacy with all mah girls. We were all wearing pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which was in October.

That's me in the lower left.

A  nice blurry iPhone pic, yes? I refuse to get an iPhone. I detest them.  But, I digress….

My birthday also rolled around in October. I turned…ummm…as old as dirt!

December brought the holiday craziness and what I think to be my most attractive Christmas tree yet! Observe…

It's glowing!!

My kids celebrating the New Year. Love them..love this pic.

 So..that brings me full circle. That’s kind of the last year in a nutshell. A very small nutshell, but a pretty long post after all, hmm?

Anyway… let’s hope this year is better than the last.  Have a Happy one!

That's not my cat. She's computer illiterate.

Yep. I haven’t  posted in quite a while. I did think about it, though.  Unfortunately, my little laptop was grinding along at half speed, probably because it was nearly 7 years old.  It’s cluttered with assorted junk: pics, recipes, obscure bookmarks, a bazillion songs on iTunes,  downloaded programs that looked cool at the time, but were hardly ever used. *sigh*

Now, I do have another computer. The “big” computer as my kids call it.  It’s the computer downstairs in the front room..it’s the one with the router… the “residential gateway”,  from which all wireless access springs.  I NEVER use the damn thing. My son has countless programs loaded onto it…his music, his pictures, his games. Meanwhile, I tap away upstairs in my room on my ancient little Dell laptop…(what’s wrong with this picture??) squinting at the teeny screen and counting the minutes as it chugs along trying to load a website. 5, 10, 15 minutes later, I’ve lit up a cigarette (which I only do in times of great stress), and have started yelling at the screen: “SONOFABITCH!! HURRY UP! I NEED TO PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL!!!”   Well, you get the idea.

It had gotten to the point that I would turn it on and wait a half-hour before I tried to cruise the innernets. I finally decided to purchase a nice desktop PC for myself when, lo and behold, my ancient furnace decided to bite the dust. This occurred during one of the coldest days in December. It was -10 degrees outside and I had no heat.  I won’t bore you with the deets..let’s just say that my credit card went into shock after the heating and A/C guys installed my shiny new furnace. So, that scrapped any thoughts of a new computer for moi.  I’ll probably be dessicated bones by the time I pay off the damn thing, but on the bright side, it’s extremely energy efficient, and has already saved me quite a bit in heating bills. My house becomes  wonderfully warm in record time.   But, I digress…

Along comes Christmas.  Luckily, I had actually used my brain and had gotten all my Christmas shopping done 2 months before the furnace crapped out, so everyone  got their nice presents, no problem.  I got the usual “mom” gifts from my kids..picture frames, fuzzy socks, assorted kitchen implements, etc.  I bought my guy another  Harley-Davidson gift card  and a new Jawbone Icon Thinker blue tooth thingie for his iPhone, so he can talk to me on the phone while driving and not sound like he’s trapped in a storage locker. Behold:

It's tiny, but mighty..

He  was thrilled, because he had lost the exact same one he bought for himself this past summer. (He loses things all the time). He had been painting the exterior of a house and it had fallen 30 ft. out of his pocket and into the unmowed lawn below, never to be found again. Typical.  Now, I figured he’d do the jewelry thing for me again this Christmas..I have quite a collection of bling, courtesy of my guy, so when he came over for Christmas I assumed my gift was in his jacket pocket.  Think again!  Seems he had come over to my house a couple of days before while I was at work, wrapped my present, and hidden it in the unfinished attic room down the hall from my bedroom. He saunters down said hallway, opens the attic door and begins pushing a very large box down the hallway toward my room.

Me: What the heck?

Him: It’s your present!

Me: Is it a crock-pot?

Him: *rolling his eyes*  Open it!

Me: *tearing off layers of garish Christmas wrap, and observing a box with a pic of a computer on it* OMIGOD! YOU CRAZY MAN!!!!!!

(At this point I am crying and slathering him with hugs, kisses, tears, and most probably..snot.)

Him: After your furnace died, I knew you wouldn’t be able to get your computer, so I bought one for you.

Me: *still in shock and shaking with disbelief*  Omigod…omigod…you’re crazy….thank you…thank you!!!! (etc, etc)

Him: Stop crying, ok? It’s not like I bought you a BMW or something. Let’s set it up!

We do so. It is a thing of beauty. The internet comes on at lightening speed. Web pages load in the blink of an eye. All is right with the world. And, here it is:

Hello, WordPress! Good to see you again.

The monitor is a 20″ flatscreen. I’m in heaven, people.   My brother, who had come to visit from Australia in October, bought me an external drive for my birthday (A Western Digital MyBook Elite), because he knew my laptop was not long for this world and advised me to back up all my junk for when I bought my new PC.  What foresight!  It made transferring all my files, pics, and such, a piece of cake.  However, transferring my iTunes proved to be quite a chore. It’s an ongoing process.

Anyway..that’s the latest.  I’ve been busy with other stuff, too. Working, knitting (I completed a couple of new knitting projects…you can see them on Ravelry if you’re into that sort of thing….), being Nana to my darling grandbaby, etc. Here’s a couple of pics of my sweetie on Christmas:

Love the little shoes!

The hat's a little big, but has room for her ponytail.

Christmas night: My daughter: exhausted. The baby? Just getting started!

All in all, a wonderful Christmas.  At a year and a half of age, my granddaughter is a silly, sweet little thing, and soon she’ll have a new cousin to play with. Yep, my son and his fiancee are having one of their own.  A little girl, due in April. They are thrilled.  And I’m thrilled too..not only because of the newest addition, but also because my son, who I thought would be bashing away on the “big” comp in my front room forever, is, along with his fiancee, moving the snakes, fish, and horribly obese rat, Taco…out to the far west ‘burbs to a place of their own. Change is good, don’t you think?  Happy New Year to all! (Especially me!)

Stop smiling at me, or my son will eat you!

§

Unfortunately, yes.

My son, who recently turned 27,  still lives at home (but not for long, hopefully), and fancies himself a gourmet chef…along with also fancy-ing himself an amateur psychologist, entomologist, herpetologist, professional musician, and all-around renaissance man… procured some shark steaks from I-don’t-know-where, and proceeded to put his cooking skills to work.

I was not home at the time this event occurred, (Friday night = beer and baseball watching at the neighborhood bar with my guy) which is probably a good thing, since the smell alone might have put me in a coma, but I sure as hell smelled the result of this foray into exotic dining when I came home.

At first, I thought maybe the garbage festering in the kitchen trash can might have exploded into a smelly mess, but no, that wasn’t it. Perhaps the sewers had backed up from all the rain and caused an evil stench to waft through my humble bungalow?  Nope. Maybe I had quaffed a few too many beers and was having a weird olfactory hallucination?  Possible, but not probable.

I know it wasn’t in my mind, because my guy smelled it, too.  We walk in the house, and the convo goes sumpin’ like this:

Me: “Omigod. What is that horrible smell???!!

My guy: ” Smells like your garbage can exploded.”

Me: “Ugh!! I’m gonna barf!” (I didn’t.)

My guy: “Your son’s been cooking again?”

Me: *screaming* MICHAEL!! What the HELL is that smell? What did you cook this time???”

My son’s voice, answering me from the other side of his bedroom door:

“It’s shark!  It’s delicious!!”

Me: “It smells like a garbage dump in here!!”

Son: “That wasn’t the shark, I think it was the potstickers I made.”

Me: “Potstickers, too? What was in those?”

Son: “Pork, leeks and shrimp.  I really think that’s where the smell came from.  The smell’s not too great, but it all tasted awesome!

Me: “It smells like a festering landfill. You sure it’s not the shark?”

Son: ” Naw.  Shark’s great! It’s kind of like a chicken and a crab had sex and gave birth to a delicious child, which I cooked and ate.”

Me: *not convinced*

*Cue my son’s girlfriend, who is in the main floor bathroom..giggling:

Girlfriend: ” Yeah, it smells terrible. I dunno if it was the shark or the potstickers, but once I got past the smell, it was pretty good!”

Me: ” Are you in the bathroom being sick? Did it poison your insides?”

Girlfriend: “I’m peeing”.

My guy: *chuckling and shaking his head.*

I run up to my little bathroom, grab the can of Oust (Outdoor scent), and start spraying like a maniac.  The frontroom, hallway, etc.  I used nearly half a can on the kitchen itself, but even that couldn’t cut through the evil stench that is pan-fried shark/potstickers.

My guy: “Lets go upstairs and watch TV. Your room’s probably safe since the door was closed.

So, up we go, and he’s right. The smell began to dissipate with every stair climbed.  My room was free of shark/potsticker smell, thank god.  We  flop on the bed, turn on the TV and proceed to pass out.

When I woke up this morning and went downstairs, the smell was still there, but not as strong.  I venture into the kitchen where a tiny cloud of eau de shark-avec-potstickers still hung in the air. Where was it coming from?  Why, from the pan the stuff was cooked in, which was still on the stove, and held bits of unidenified leftovers.  I dumped the leavings in the toilet, flushed, and proceeded to wash all the pans and utensils my son had used to stink up my house. I guess he was too exhausted from his gourmet adventure to clean up after himself.

After, I stood outside his bedroom door. It’s 8 am, and he doesn’t have to leave for work until 9am, so I decide to do him a favor & give him an early wake-up call:

Me: “HEY! Next time you cook, clean up after yourself.  AND DON’T  EVER COOK THAT CRAP IN MY HOUSE AGAIN!!!!

(At the time I am yelling this, I am also fantasizing about my son’s imminent departure from the family nest. I am told this day will probably come to pass sometime in October, when his girlfriend moves into her own place. She has promised to take him with. I almost made  her swear to it on the Bible.  But stopped myself.  Hey..it’s my fantasy..don’t ruin it!)

Anyway, I wait for his response.  Nothing. I pound on his door.  Not a peep.  I fling it open, and he’s….GONE.  Off to work, earlier than I thought, he has avoided my mom-anger yet again.

That’s ok. He has to come home sometime.

§

Other than that, it looks like WordPress dropped the ball, eh?  I mean, I’m still a bit stunned, after all this  changing of  the Cutline theme to Coraline. I log in and everything is changed.  My theme is gone. A new one in it’s place, and all my sidebar stuff has disappeared!  And NO..they were not in the “inactive widgets” pane, either.

I hate the Coraline theme. What irks me the most is that I was trying out the Koi theme for a while, and had just switched back to comfy old Cutline a couple of weeks before the big blunder (aka Cutline—->Coraline).

I guess that’s what happens when you’re feeling fickle.  Or adventurous??

After all this happened, after reading all the anger about how shady it was for WordPress to pull our theme out from under us without so much as a dashboard notification (which I hear is standard when it’s time to pay your hosting fee), I decided to take a look at other blogging sites.

Blogger/blogspot was OUT! Just too cheesy. Typepad?  Well, I made a test blog over there, using its free micro-blogging format.  It’s very limited, probably because it is free.  If I was going to pay at all, I’d pay for WordPress, simply because I’m familiar with it, and have had no problems or complaints, until now.

Ahh..my wordpress dashboard is like a comfy old chair.  I love the familiarity of it.

Yes, I love you, wordpress, but I feel betrayed.  And a bit scared.

When I finally decide which theme I’m going to stick with for the duration, how do I know you won’t pull the rug out from under me again?

I was going to make them from scratch, but since the weather has been horrific (temps in the high 90′s, with 100% humidity), I opted for boxed cake mix. I know, I know…a blasphemy for someone like me, but my kitchen has no air conditioning, and the last time I made whipped cream frosting in this weather, I actually had to place the cake in the freezer and ice it with the freezer door open to prevent the whipped cream from melting.

So, I decided on a three layer deal for the big cake…2 chocolate layers, with a funfetti layer in the middle.  The baby’s smash cake was all funfetti.  I made the layers ahead of time and stored them in the fridge until the morning of the party.

The big cake layers were baked in 13″ x 9″ cake pans, and the smash cake  was baked in two 6″ round cake pans. Early in the morning, before it became oppressively hot, I whipped up 3 cups of sweetened heavy whipping cream  and slapped it between the layers of the cakes.  I then used the rest to frost the smash cake.  Back into the fridge went the smash cake, so it wouldn’t melt.

For the big cake, I decided on buttercream frosting. Since I’d already gone down the road to ruin using boxed mixes,  the idea of using a commercial buttercream frosting mix didn’t seem so blasphemous.  Hey, I didn’t want to be beating and creaming 3 sticks of butter and confectioner’s sugar in tropical humidity! Don’t judge me. *sob*.

Luckily, I had stopped at Michael’s Crafts earlier in the week to pick up some cake decors in the Wilton aisle.  I bought some awesome Wilton Color Mist Spray. It makes your cakes look so gorgeous and professional!  I bought a can of purple, and one of pink.

Airbrush in a can!

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Also picked up some “Blushing Hearts edible glitter in pink. (of course!)

Sparkly!

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I was just about to leave Michael’s when what did I see?  Wilton Creamy White Buttercream Icing mix!  I scope out the directions on the box. Oh, it seemed so simple to make compared to homemade buttercream.

Simple. Delicious. Thank you, Wilton.

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And no one would have to know the truth, right?  I picked up 2 boxes just in case, and it’s a good thing I did, because the big cake was..well…BIG. Actually, it was GIGANTIC!  I kid you not.  Here is the proof:

Bigger than I planned. WAY bigger.

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(No, my granddaughter’s last name is not “Beans”…that’s her nickname.)

Anyway, the cake looks normal at the angle above… but from the side?

It came from outer space!! (Ok, ok, it really came from...my oven!)

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The cake had to be nearly 6 inches tall and I think it weighed more than my cat!  I couldn’t even close the cake box I bought for it.  Let’s put this in perspective. Here is the monster at the party:

It weighed more than my cat.

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But, it tasted good. The icing was delish.  Everyone must have liked it because at the end of the party, more than half of it was gone.

Now for the smash cake.  For those of you who don’t know what a smash cake is,  it’s a celebratory cake  intended to be destroyed, especially by a child for their first birthday.  This cake came out perfect.  It was a lovely little thing.

Too cute!

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And my grandbaby loved it.  Initially, she was a bit confused by it all.

She seemed a little baffled by the idea of destroying her cake, but she got over it pretty quickly:

Going...

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Going...

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Gone! Now, that's sweet!

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She had a great time smashing her cake, enjoying her presents and her family.

And she wasn’t even afraid of her Nana’s giant monster birthday cake!  Sweet!

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Ready-made for craziness.

I’m talking about the latest shot being guzzled in bars/taverns/clubs around these parts.  Whoever invented this shot should be shot!  It’s mightily disgusting.  It’s a simple recipe consisting of:

1/2 can of Red Bull

1 oz. of Bacardi O

You pour 1/2 can red bull into a rocks glass, and drop a shot glass full of Bacardi O into the Red Bull (or you can use the convenient little cups pictured above ↑ ) and shoot it.  Shoot it fast, people, because this shot tastes like fear and darkness.

I experienced this liquid hell last Friday, at a birthday party for a friend of ours.  She was turning 30.  I remember turning 30…back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and O-Bombs never existed.

Anyway, said party was held at the neighborhood bar we frequent every now and then.  The birthday girl also tends bar there.  She had just gotten off duty and was able to celebrate her birthday with assorted alcoholic beverages.  First up?  O-Bombs for everyone!!!!

Now, I have VERY simple tastes when it come to drinking:  Beer. Bud Light.  If I’m feeling daring, I might have a Corona with a lime.  If I do a shot, which is very rare for me, I usually choose what’s known as a “girly” shot.  Something creamy & innocuous like Bailey’s Irish Cream or Tequila Rose.  Hence, I wasn’t prepared for the O-Bomb’s disgusting flavor.  I’m not a fan of Red Bull, and had never tasted Bacardi O,  but, hey…I’m a good sport and was willing to go along with the crowd.

Little did I know...

Everyone clinked glasses for the toast, and downed their O-Bombs like the troopers they are.  Except for me. I couldn’t drink it all in one shot.  I took half and shuddered a bit.  Everyone was yelling: “Finish it!  You sissy!!  GAWD, yer such a GIRL!!!”.  Yep.  Peer pressure never ends, I guess.  Even my guy was chuckling at my lame attempt to drink this evil mixture.

I took the rest of it whilst trying not to breathe so I wouldn’t taste it.  But I tasted it anyway.  I will now post a VERY unflattering, yet realistic photo of my reaction to the O-Bomb:

Make the taste stop!

That’s my guy in the corner.  I cropped him out because he was having a HUGE laugh at my expense.  I had to lick all the frosting off that cupcake just to get the taste of the O-Bomb out of my mouth.  Actually, it took a couple of cupcakes.  Heh.

So, there you have it.  My take on the latest shot craze.  Drink at your own risk.  Unless you LIKE the taste of fear and darkness.

Pics?  But, of course!!

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The river was high and pretty choppy this time.

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We did a LOT of paddling.

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The usual sandstone cliffs

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A tiny waterfall in the cliff.

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A heron hunting for his lunch.

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The color of summer!

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Sandstone, flowers, and..umm...bird shit.

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We climbed up the cliff. And this is what we saw...

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I had an attack of stomach-churning vertigo, but it was worth it!

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Back on the water, and we saw this. A dam? A bridge? I dunno..

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The water was so clear...

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nearer to the dam, it had an unsettling green color. Hopefully, it was just algae, and not evil chemicals.

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There were tiny minnows all over, so it couldn't have been too poisonous.

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There's my guy. At one with nature. Sort of.

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I think I had the macro setting on. Nice shot of my shadow-y fingers, eh?

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Did better taking a pic of my feet. Typical.

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Hello there, heron.

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And those are just some of the pics from my camera. My guy took some, but they are trapped inside his Olympus, because he neglected to leave me his USB cord.   Perhaps you are breathing a sigh of relief?  Sorry, but I love me some kayaking on the good old Fox River.

As you can see from the pic above, the water was pretty rowdy this time out. The Fox  is usually pretty calm, but with all the rain and flooding, we had a pretty good current to work with.  We took the 12 mile trip and did hard paddling for more than 8 miles. It was a great workout and a lot of fun.  Afterward, we hit Chet’s Fox River Tavern for a couple of well-deserved beers.  They really tasted good.

Then, the long drive back home. We dragged our butts to bed, and slept like babies.

Sunburned, exhausted, filthy babies.  Heh heh.

I love it!!

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]]> http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2010/07/14/addicted-to-kayaking/feed/ 0 Lis choppy stroke more sandstone tiny waterfall heron1 verdant maple tiny flowers cliffview1 cliffview2 stone thing clearwater poison green river rocks nature dude macroshadow crocscrop1 heronagain http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/ready-set-kayak/ http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/ready-set-kayak/#comments Fri, 11 Jun 2010 09:36:43 +0000 Lis http://pdlogic.wordpress.com/?p=1307 ]]>

Onward!

We made our first kayaking trip of the season a couple of weeks ago. And since I am true-blue procrastinator, I just got around to downloading the pics to the computer.  Today.

ANYway….

A couple of weeks ago on Sunday morning, my guy came by about 7am to load the kayaks up.  I knew he was coming, because we planned ahead, but I didn’t know he was actually HERE  because I was…ehm…sleeping.  Yup.  I forgot to set my alarm clock the night before.  My cellphone alarm didn’t go off either, since I only have it set for workdays.

So, not seeing me peering out at him from the kitchen window, he calls my cell.  The convo goes something like this:

Me: *groggily* “Hello?”

Him: “I’m here.”

Me: “Wha..? Huh?  AGH!!!  My alarm never went off!!!”

Him: *sounding somewhat exasperated*  “Well, I still have to load the kayaks. It should take about 15 minutes.  Can you be ready by then?”  (Am I hearing some sarcasm-mixed-with-disbelief here? )

Me: *lying*  “Oh, sure, I’ll be ready.”

Now, all the while I’m thinking:  “I haven’t even decided what to wear!!!  How will I ever curl my hair &  do full makeup in 15 minutes??  Which purse should I take?”

(You may think it odd that I wanted to glam up for a down & dirty kayak trip on the Fox River, but the deal is, I glam up for EVERYTHING.  A trip to the corner grocery calls for, at the VERY least,  blush & lipgloss.)

But today I’ll have to stick with the bare minimum…our shuttle to the put-in leaves at 9:00am, and we’ve got an hour+ drive ahead of us.   I slap on some makeup, clothes (camo pants,  white t-shirt, my black crocs), grab my little backpack and green cap, and I’m ready to go.  In record time!

My guy sees me coming out the door.  I smile (ok…maybe I smirked) because I know he thought I’d take at least an hour to prepare.  We hop into the truck and make our way to C&M Canoe in Ottawa, IL.

(We used to go to River Adventures in Ottawa, but, sadly, Jackie & Randy have shut down the business due to heath reasons.  They referred us to C&M, which turned out to be a great alternative. Thanks, guys!)

We’re almost there, when I see this “resort” building. I never knew there was a resort like this near the Fox, when my guy points out to me that it isn’t actually a resort.  It’s painted on, ala Trompe L’Oeil!  (French for “trick the eye”).

Behold!

Long story short…

Here are some pics from our first kayaking trip of the season.

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St. Peter's Sandstone

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This was a lovely stretch of river.

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The sun came out. It felt like burning!

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There he goes!

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"When Trees Attack!"

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I love my guy.

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Storms in the area uprooted a lot of trees.

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Yep. Got stuck in a cave.

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"I Still Love You"

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Ummm. NOPE.

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I'd love to stay at this house for the summer.

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And that’s just a few. We took loads of pics, but most were blurry..the river was running really fast from all the rain. It’s kinda hard to focus when you’re being swept downstream.  But it was a great time. Can’t wait to do it again. If you’ve never tried kayaking or canoeing, you really should. Aside from being a great upper body-workout, it’s just plain fun!